


This Time I'm Ready

by garbagebins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Kissing, Lilo Spring Fic Exchange, M/M, Pining, The X Factor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:18:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbagebins/pseuds/garbagebins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis wants nothing but for Liam to like him and he will do everything to make this happen, whether Liam likes it or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Time I'm Ready

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Narryornarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narryornarry/gifts).



> [Narryornarry](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Narryornarry/pseuds/Narryornarry) wanted a fic set during the X Factor, based on the following prompt: "Louis wants nothing but for Liam to love him like the other boys love him. Liam wants nothing but for Louis to leave him alone." 
> 
> It was a pleasure to write this fic for you :D

 

Louis wouldn’t really say that everyone loved him; he was well aware that that wasn’t the case. However, he couldn’t remember a time where befriending people was hard for him. He had always had a small group of people to hang out with and he never really fought with anyone, except for the occasional row he had with an opposing team on the football pitch.

The teachers weren’t overly fond of him, as Louis had a habit of getting himself into trouble, but as he never did anything too serious, they usually forgave him pretty quickly.

Nothing had changed when he went on X Factor in 2010. After being booted off during boot-camp, he was put together with four other guys to form a boy band. Befriending them seemed easy at first. He had met Harry before, so he quickly took him under his wing. Niall seemed to find everything that came out of his mouth hilarious, so he was easy enough to befriend. Zayn was pretty cool and laid back, and after his initial hesitation to join the band, he had quickly warmed up to the idea of being in a band with Louis and the rest of the guys. Liam on the other hand seemed a bit shy at first. He hardly spoke during their first meeting, even though he had had the most experience on X Factor out of all of them, having already competed before. He got a little bit more talkative after that though. He got on well with Zayn and Niall, and he didn’t seem to have a problem with Harry or Louis.

Louis was therefore extremely confused how Liam’s mood shifted around Louis when they went to Harry’s bungalow to properly get to know each other and practice together for the judge’s houses. Instead of laughing at every one of Louis’ jokes like the other guys did, Liam stayed quiet, sometimes even rolling his eyes.

Louis just didn’t get it. He was a funny guy; the other guys gave him confirmation of this practically every single day. Somehow, Liam seemed to get annoyed with him and Louis had no idea what he had done wrong. Liam had no problem laughing at Niall’s jokes, or just chatting to Zayn for hours.

“I don’t really think he’s treating you any differently, though?” Harry said when Louis brought it up to him one evening. They were sitting against the bed Harry shared with Niall, sipping from cups of hot chocolate.

Louis frowned a little bit at Harry’s words, trying to think of a moment when Liam had been distant from Harry, Niall or Zayn. He remembered how the other day Liam had sighed loudly when Harry said something about how they should just make it their thing to perform topless all the time.

He figured that Harry was right. He was probably just imagining things.

* * *

 

During the X Factor live shows, however, it seemed that Louis was actually in his right mind when it came to Liam’s attitude towards him.

Louis couldn’t remember a time where he worked as hard for something as he did during the X Factor rehearsals, except maybe for when he was cast as Danny Zuko in the school production of Grease a couple of years back. He loved hanging around with everyone in the X Factor house. He loved all the singing he was doing and he was happy to be pulled into some kind of daily routine of rehearsing, video shoots and interviews. He loved it and he was going to enjoy ever minute of it.

Liam, on the other hand, had other ideas. Liam was serious; he was concentrated and he wanted to do everything right. He had gone through the previous parts of the X Factor before and knew what it was like to be turned down and he seemed to do everything to prevent  losing this time. He took rehearsing so serious and he wasn’t really keen on anyone mucking about too much.

However, Louis was still absolutely sure that Liam singled him out more often than the other guys.

Louis didn’t get why Liam didn’t think he was funny. All the other guys were laughing at his jokes. And it wasn’t even as if Liam never laughed. Louis wasn’t really counting, but Liam laughed at the other guys’ jokes way more often than his (Harry: 15, Niall: 12, Zayn: 8). Louis had only noticed Liam laughing at him two times in the first two weeks of moving into the X Factor house.

Harry wasn’t even that funny, to be honest.

He did everything he could think of to get Liam to laugh at him. He tried to get Liam to join him when he wanted to prank one of the other guys and had even dragged him along one time to hide from Niall who was looking for him. He cracked jokes every moment he got and he even twisted his own nipple at some point to make Liam laugh.

But it was no use. Liam would always bail out of his pranks before Louis had even started and he’d just roll his eyes whenever Louis made a joke.

And that was just totally unacceptable.

It only resulted in Louis becoming more and more frustrated with the whole situation. It made him act a little bit more irrationally than normal. His plan to get Liam to like him didn’t seem to be working and instead of backing down and trying something different, Louis tried harder.

Not an hour would go by without Louis trying to prank Liam. He would give Liam wedgies or nipple twists and interrupted Liam whenever he was about to get ready to sing his solo.

“Honestly Louis, can you just concentrate for one second?” Liam mumbled after Louis had slapped his butt, making him screw up the first verse of the song.

Louis just laughed, slapping him another time. “Come on Liam, I’m just joking around a little bit. You shouldn’t be so serious.” He reached up to grab Liam’s face between his fingers, squeezing Liam’s plump lips forward a little.

Liam slapped his hands away, turning around to face Zayn and taking a deep breath.

Then Zayn spoke, calmly. “He’s right, Louis. Just focus on this for a moment, OK?” Louis watched him place a hand on Liam’s shoulder.

Louis huffed when Liam didn’t push Zayn’s hand away. All it did was rile him up even more. Why could Zayn touch Liam, but every time Louis would just open his mouth in Liam’s presence he was met by exasperated sighs from the younger boy?

That is, if Liam wouldn’t get angry at him for no particular reason.

He crossed his arms angrily and faced his microphone, trying to concentrate on the lyrics he had to sing. Not that it really mattered; he didn’t have any solos anyway.

It wasn’t even on purpose when he was completely off key during the chorus. His voice just cracked a little bit and it was like it had a life of its own when he opened his mouth. He heard Liam curse from next to him and Louis tried to step towards Harry, who didn’t seem to have noticed his fuck up. He didn’t know how it happened, but he took one wrong step and accidentally bumped into Liam, just when he was about to belt out his solo.

“Louis!” Liam sounded really angry now and Louis cowered away slightly.

The entire room got quiet, as the piano stopped playing.

“Can’t you just…” Liam started, but Zayn interrupted him.

“Honestly, Louis. What’s wrong with you? Why are you so… so… so fucking obsessed with Liam? It’s like you are in love with him!” Zayn was almost yelling by the end of the sentence.

Louis felt his heart do some kind of weird flutter at the last thing Zayn said, but at the same time his stomach felt like it flipped upside down. He first looked at Zayn, who was still looking at him angrily, before his eyes landed on Liam. He looked at Liam’s full lips and his deep brown eyes, glittering beautifully at him.

“Guys….” Their vocal coach said, but Louis hardly noticed him, as he marched past Liam, Zayn and Niall, out of the room. Tears were welling up in his eyes as he walked through the hallway of the building, going straight into the first toilet he could find, where he slid down against the nearest wall to the floor.

“Don’t fucking cry,” Louis mumbled to himself, wiping his eyes furiously. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.

He wasn’t even there for thirty seconds before he heard a knock and a soft deep voice saying his name.

Louis opened the door slowly and he let Harry slip inside. He sat down opposite him, their knees pressing together.

“What was that all about, then?” Harry started when Louis didn’t talk to him

Louis shrugged.

“Do you have anything to tell me?”

“Liam really doesn’t like me, does he?” Louis said, his voice sounding weaker than he had expected.

Harry sighed. “I’m sure he likes you.”

Louis opened his mouth to speak, but Harry shook his head and shushed him

“No, let me talk. I’m sure he likes you. It’s just difficult for him, you know? Remember when he said in the bungalow that he had been bullied a lot in school?”

Louis nodded.

“He’s not used to people like… well….” Harry grabbed Louis’ hand in his. “People like you.”

Louis frowned slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?"

“He’s used to people taking the piss out of him and what you are doing is kind of the same, isn’t it?”

“No!” he almost yelled, a slight feeling of dread now also weighing heavy inside of him. “I never bullied him! I am just trying to get him to like me. I don’t mean to make him feel like crap.”

Harry just smiled at him, rubbing his thumb over the back of Louis’ hand. “I know Louis. All I am saying is that he probably doesn’t know how to… well… deal with you. He knows you don’t mean it in an evil way or something, but sometimes it must feel like bullying to him.”

Louis sighed, placing his head back against the wall behind him, but moving it back when he realized he’s in a restroom and had no idea how clean it was there. “What should I do?”

“Maybe try calming down a little bit around him? With the jokes I mean.”

Louis nodded carefully, looking at his hand engulfed by Harry’s much larger one, as they sat in silence for a minute or so.

“So…” Harry says, breaking the silence between the two of them and Louis looked up from their hands to Harry’s face. Harry gave him a smile. “Are you going to tell me why you walked away so quickly after what Zayn said?”

The feeling in his stomach that had been getting less over the past couple of minutes came back almost immediately.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed how hard you are trying to get Liam’s attention…”

Louis tried to pull his hand out of Harry’s, but Harry just gripped it tighter, preventing him from pulling back.

“You can tell me anything; you know that. If you… if Zayn is right, you can tell me and I really wouldn’t think any different of you.”

The thing was, Louis had never thought about Liam that way before Zayn mentioned it. He had never thought about guys that way before this. However, now he did, it made sense. His feelings for Liam made sense. Never before had he been bothered by anyone not liking him, but with Liam it was different. He wanted Liam to like him and for some reason the idea of, for example, kissing Liam didn’t feel that wrong to him.

He looked at Harry. “I don’t know… Maybe… maybe he’s right… just a little bit.”

Harry’s lips formed a broad smile on his face and he squeezed Louis’ hand. “It’s OK if you don’t know yet. Whatever you are feeling… It’s not wrong, OK?”

Nodding, Louis also let himself smile a little bit.

“You ready to go? I told the other guys you were feeling a little sick, so we’ve called off the rehearsal.” He let go of Louis’ hand and clambered up, before reaching out his hand for Louis to grab again so he could pull him up.

When Louis was back on his feet, Harry pulled him into a tight hug.

“It’s gonna be OK,” he whispered in his ear, before pulling back and looking Louis straight in the eyes. “When we’re back at the house you’re going to talk to Liam. You’re not gonna be funny to him and you’re going to talk to him and tell him you’re sorry. Because I know you are.”

Louis didn’t say anything. He wasn’t good at talking and the prospect of possibly disappointing Liam with whatever he was going to say was terrifying him.

“You’re going to promise me, Louis. You don’t have to tell him how you feel about him, but you’ve got to talk to him. Promise me.”

Louis took a deep breath, before finally giving Harry a nod. “OK. I’ll talk to him.”

“Good.” Harry leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Louis took a nervous breath, trying to steady his nerves as he stood in front of their shared bedroom he had seen Liam and Niall disappear into when they got back from rehearsals.

“Liam,” Louis mumbled, knocking his knuckle on the door twice.  “It’s me… Louis. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, come in,” he heard Niall call back at him.

Louis opened the door and noticed Niall first, sitting on his bed, before his eyes fell on Liam who was sat on the floor next to the bed.

“Hi,” Louis said. He could hear a little bit of a tremble in his voice and he wondered for a moment if Liam and Niall could hear it too.

“Hi,” Liam said, curtly, while Niall just gave him a quick nod.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked, suddenly realizing he was nervously pulling at his split fingernail and he quickly stopped.

Liam looked up from where he was looking at the phone in his hand. He had a frown on his face and he looked at Niall.

“I’ll go and see Harry,” Niall mumbled, getting up from the bed and petting Liam on the shoulder, before smiling at Louis and placing a hand on his shoulder as well. He then gave Louis a gentle push towards Liam and walked out the door.

Louis took another deep breath as he sat down next to Liam, his back against Niall’s bed, but not looking at Liam. “I…” Louis started, but Liam interrupted him.

“It’s OK, you don’t… you didn’t mean it, right?”

Louis looked up, surprised. Liam wasn’t looking at him. Instead the younger boy was inspecting his own hands. After what Liam had said, Louis expected him to look calm, or at least have a bit of a smile on his face, but he didn’t.

Liam looked sad. His eyebrows were drawn together and the corners of his mouth had drooped slightly.

It was then that it hit Louis. He realised just how insecure Liam was and how people could just treat him like shit and he’d always immediately forgive them, thinking that it would make people treat him better if he did. He would just let people trample over him, knowing it had no real consequences with Liam and that he wouldn’t fight back, even after having taken those numerous boxing lessons he talked about during their time at the bungalow.

“No…” Louis stated, shaking his head, turning more towards Liam. “No, it’s not OK.” Liam looked up at him. It broke Louis’ heart to see Liam so sad and insecure. “Look, I am really sorry for being so shitty to you OK? I’m just not good with this whole thing… with being so serious and focused all the time and I can just be so fucking shit about it sometimes and you don’t deserve me being like this to you… being so fucking shitty to you all the time. You shouldn’t just take everything from me, because I am being a…” Louis paused for a moment, looking for the right words.

“A pain in the ass?” Liam offered.

“A pain in the ass,” Louis repeated, nodding. “Yes… that about sums it up.”

Liam chuckled. “OK… Apology accepted, I guess?”

“No!” Louis almost yelled out. “I will stop making fun of you and I will stop distracting you during rehearsals or whenever. Once I can do that you can forgive me, alright? But only once I have proven to you that I can stop annoying you.”

“I…” Liam started and he finally looked up to Louis. “You don’t have to properly like… stop. I guess, it’s nice to sometimes have someone like you who calms everyone down a little bit by joking around.”

Louis frowned a little bit, thinking of the best way this could work for the both of them. “OK, how about I just only joke around during the first hour of rehearsals and then I will be serious all day.”

Liam let out a loud snort of laughter.

It was like music to Louis’ ears. Liam looked so ridiculously cute with his eyes practically shut and his nose crinkled up.

Which had been the consequence of Louis being absolutely serious to him.

“No, that would be weird,” Liam said, his eyes still crinkled from his smile. “Just tone it down a little bit OK? You can still joke around, but just not all the time.”

Louis nodded. He could do that.

“Deal.” He stuck out his hand and Liam took hold of it and shook it.

“Deal.”

“And now we’re going to hang out and do something together. Without the other guys. Just us two.”

“OK, like what?”

Louis looked around the room and his eyes fell on the laptop he had left on his bunk bed that morning. “Wanna watch a movie? You can choose one.”

Liam nodded and the two of them moved towards Louis’ bed, where they watched a Batman movie.

It was really nice. First or all, Louis loved Liam’s taste in superheroes and if he had known this, he would’ve made Liam watch all the Batman movies with him before this. Most importantly, however, was the fact that none of the other guys came into the room for the entire duration of the movie, so it was just the two of them together the whole time. He loved hearing Liam’s opinion on every superhero movie he had ever seen or every comic book he had ever read and why Batman was by far the most superior superhero. Louis didn’t necessarily agree with him, but Batman was indeed cool enough that he didn’t dare to argue.

When the closing credits rolled, Louis was suddenly very aware of the warmth radiating from where their shoulders had been pressed together for about three hours and he was already dreading the moment Liam would move away from him.

“That was nice,” Louis said when he turned off the movie and the silence of the room around them felt weird all of a sudden. He turned his head to look up at Liam’s face when the younger boy started speaking.

“Yeah. We should do it again soon… Not necessarily watching a movie, but just doing things together, yeah?”

Louis’ gaze fixed on Liam’s pink lips and all he could think of was how they would feel against his own. Whether they would be soft or slightly chapped and rough and whether he would taste the peppermint flavour on them from the breath mint Liam had taken halfway through the movie.

Before Louis even knew what he was doing, he had pressed his lips against Liam’s.

Louis would love to say that Liam had kissed him back that evening about five years ago, but he would just be telling a big fat lie.

The good thing was that Liam never pushed him away either.

When Louis finally realized what he was doing and pulled away, Liam just looked slightly shocked but he had a very noticeable flush on his cheeks. Louis had whispered a hurried “sorry”, but Liam shook his head, telling him that it was “OK” and for the first time that night, Louis believed that Liam was truly and honestly was OK.

* * *

 

The next couple of years would pass without any kisses between them. The kiss, however, apparently broke the ice between them. It had loosened Liam up a little bit and it had resulted in Louis being able to relax a lot more around Liam. They grew closer and closer together and Liam ended up becoming one of his best friends.

Liam dated one of the dancers from the X-Factor and they stayed together for a good two years, before dating a girl he had known since before he went on the X-Factor for about another two years.

Louis’ crush on Liam never really went away, but that didn’t really surprise him much. He had never felt so strongly for someone in such a short amount of time and he wasn’t going to forget his first proper crush easily.

A year after the X-Factor he himself fell head over heels in love with a girl Harry introduced him to, but after about four years of dating, Louis’ busy schedule while being in the biggest boy band on the planet made it nearly impossible for them to stay together. They had tried for months to make it work, but it was no use.

So that is how the four of them had ended up on the tour bus to Chicago after a late night show in Toronto.

“Can you pass me another beer, Niall,” Louis asks, not taking his eyes off the TV screen, showing the second Batman movie.

They had been planning on just watching the first movie all together to wind down a little bit after the show. However, Liam had other plans and wouldn’t take no for an answer and convinced them to put on the second movie. The crew had buggered off to bed by now, so it’s just them in the lounge area. Niall and Harry are sitting on one side of the sofa, Harry’s long legs draped over Niall’s thighs and Liam and Louis on the other side of the sofa, Liam’s arm securely around Louis’ shoulder.

It was only during the closing credits of the movie that it happens

Liam coughs twice and Louis looks up from the screen to Liam’s face. Liam looks slightly nervous, biting his bottom lip between his teeth, as he pulls Louis slightly further against his body.

“What?” Louis whispers, shivering when one of Liam’s fingers run in gentle circles over the skin of his arm.

He notices a slight flush on Liam’s cheeks. “I was just thinking of what happened the last time we watched a Batman movie together.”

Now Liam starts to look properly shy and embarrassed and Louis is just about to make fun of Liam for it, when Liam dips his head down and presses their lips together.

And well, that wasn’t something Louis had been expecting to happen that night. For a couple of seconds Louis just sits there, his brain trying to comprehend what is happening and how he should be responding to this. He isn’t sure whether he still has a crush on Liam. Sure, he still sneaks glances at Liam when he changes in the same room, or he still sometimes feels his heart skip a beat when Liam touches him and looking at Liam’s lips still make him want to kiss them occasionally.

It was only when Liam squeezes his shoulder gently that Louis seems to wake up.

He is still definitely head over heels in love with Liam.

Louis’ hands immediately go to Liam’s shirt, as he leans in to deepen the kiss. He grips the fabric tightly and lets out a shaky breath through his nose, not believing this is finally happening. He can taste the beer Liam had earlier that night on his tongue, combined with a hint of the pizza they had shared after the gig. It wouldn’t normally be a taste that would drive Louis wild, but the taste is just so incredibly Liam that all Louis wants is more.

He has no idea how long they have been snogging until they pull apart. Liam’s hand is on Louis’ neck and his fingers are tickling the back of his scalp slightly and Louis’ can’t help but smile, which Liam returns.

Out of the corner of his eyes he suddenly notices Harry and Niall staring at them. Niall is just looking at them, his jaw slack and his eyes big, but Harry is just cocking one of his eyebrows at them, his lip twitching as if he is trying to stop himself from grinning at them.

“Well… that took you guys long enough,” is all he says, before moving his focus back to his phone, his grin now finally breaking out on his face.

Louis bites his lip, as Liam pulls him in for another kiss.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my lovely beta reader <3


End file.
